I would tell you story of mine, which happened after my (final) release of the psychiatric hospital (1.5 month & didn't wanted to let me out). It suits the best on what you should put focus on.
…
It's basically a story about a waste of 100 PLN, on sucking dick: where I've went with my friend to a private brothel (prostitutes). I was there clearly few weeks after release, when I've could talk a little (& to have 1 thought on an hour, basically). Here you've got photos before going to it:
GYM progress (mine) in 130 days! (hospital). Enough of background.
We've drove to the Wloclawek & we've went to the shopping area (pl: "Wzorcownia" ) as the brothel (place where you can fuck some hot bitches) was opened in 2 hours. I've went with my best friend (at the time & also right now), bought some clothes for myself, bought for him a leather jacket (I've owed to him many things, when I was very poor, before the actual comeback
from the UK), but it doesn't matter. I've took 2,000 PLN from the cash point (I was quite rich in @20 age, after doing business in the UK) to have the cash within myself (I've carried 4k always, but I've spent quite a lot in the days before & wasn't going out from home). I've gave my friend 300 PLN as I remember, because I've wanted to fund him a prostitute.
We've went there, without details – tenement house in the attic, spacious large room where beer cost was 10 PLN. After a while of waiting on a sofa, my bitch – that I've wanted take to fuck was really hot I must say (thin brunette without tits, I don't care about the last; quite nice from face – it matters). I've went there, basically I've couldn't
talk after all those benzodiazepines, schizophrenic drugs that I've received in the form of IV (needle) & pills that you've got less than 10 seconds to expectorate, because they absorb in the spit. I've drank also near 0.5l of vodka before, all in order to heighten my levels of dopamine to make better my condition.
So, clearly speaking: I've took my pants down & I was too confident (I've sensed it), that those drugs would destroy completely my libido/erection stuff, however I was thinking at the time that "she would do the job". To be clear: my dick wasn't just working for
all the time after my release, it came back to work after couple, couple of months (I've had problems with erection for many months after).
She sucked my dick for nearly an hour (40 minutes), however in the mid-time she needed to go to the bathroom to pee. I've never mind, because she was already tired of sucking it. I've had a pants which were before the bed.
I've went out, dissatisfied (however 100% from my fault). Bitch was I must say: really very good, as on bitch, but I've failed. No big deal, 100 PLN wasn't even a spit at those times.
When I've went out something *BEEP* in my mind to check the wallet (as I always do) & I've sensed that I've got only 400 PLN left. As I've couldn't do the math (I don't also remember did I've received those 300 PLN back), because
I was so drugged after the psychiatric hospital, that I've couldn't barely talk (speak) – create a sentence after release.
However I was slowly coming to myself, although it took nearly 3 months to get back to myself (to some degree). I was there for instance, after 1 month? at max!
To tell you quite honestly in a picture what did it meant: imagine this. I was shaving myself on the head to baldness for 1.5-2 hours in 5 approaches, because I wasn't able to do it at once (lack of dopamine & mind blocked by those drugs). To be quite honest, I've took
nearly everything, but drugs like those didn't never ever destroyed me like so (psychically). It was the worst nightmare ever. I was shaking all, after the initial release & couldn't sit in a 1 place, not mentioning any thinking. THE
WORST NIGHTMARE EVER HUMAN CAN EXPERIENCE (AT LEAST FOR ME).
Imagine that it took me few days (4?) to get to the conclusion that when the prostitute was going to the bath, she took my wallet, took the money (1,300 PLN), left: 400 PLN and when she was going back (I've got an image), she put it back to my pants.
4 FUCKING DAYS to get to this conclusion, which would normally not even took me a fucking mili-second. It was those drugs do.
Although, those money (1,300 PLN) wasn't even considerable amount to worry, at the time ("like a 1%" of my wealth; [not 1%, but it felt like so]), so I've wished her: good luck. She was on amphetamine, when I was there. Going back to what I've told before: drugs like alcohol, tobacco which increase the amount of dopamine in the body were helping, although I don't
smoke (statistics say, that: 90% of schizophrenics smoke). I'm quite sure of it, but I don't smoke.
My mind was there on 5-10% and I've couldn't think.
It's impossible to show to anybody who wasn't on the schizophrenic drugs (with combination of others, benzo & all what they could give you, combined) to let him know – what it looks like to have a plastic bag on you're mind and be completely blocked.
I was spitting all those drugs that they've gave me, although you've got very limited short time to do it, because they are absorbed by saliva, 10 seconds. I was caught once & they've needled me & I was the last who was released from the "taking room" (when they give you your pills), even though I was forced to open my mouth & until the pills weren't
swallowed I couldn't left. I was also put there by court, so I couldn't "go when I want". I was forced to be there. I thought all the time about escape, but it was pointless, because they would very fast found me (police) & I would be there for at least 3 months as a guilt (sic!). The only option I've had was to cheat them & to get out of there as fast as possible. In
order to do so, I've needed to listen (or to at least show I'm cooperative). The final release had took 1.5 months, after being released after 1 month on a "break", when after 1 month of lock down I've just went insane, also due to: this
(was released on 3 days of "trial", however after not even 24 hours I was "sold" by my mother, that I'm bad for her – she just wanted me to leave the home & to stay in hospital for some more time; I've couldn't do anything).
NOTICE. I'm NOT a schizophrenic and even thought, if I would been: I would be easily kill the parasite which induces it through (parasitic) herbs & zapping (electricity), as followed in the article:
Extreme Tiredness? Feeling Tired (part III).
It was the one of the most stupid losses. Where I was took (on drugs, MDPV) to the hospital, 4,000 PLN (coiled in 1 "thing", I've had many of those – hidden, everywhere & all separated for 4k) was took from my home by a medical personal (ambulance) person (a man). I've get to know it few months later when I've replayed the movie in my mind, how those money were
lost (they were under the bed, but they've moved it & it appeared to a person, those money). Paradoxically enough, I'd knew the person & he was taking me after 1 month release, again. He'd knew. I'd knew. He didn't told a word. I was wishing him good party for those money.
CONCLUSIONS. The worst enemy is the one who you don't suspect (or even expect!) to be. You would be attacked for sure in the most vulnerable place, the one that you've didn't prepared & the one who you don't even considered (as in common with the law).
EPILOGUE. I'm smarter today & those experiences put a shade on who I am today. I won't make similar mistakes in the future as I've learned. Make sure you've learned too & allow yourself to be more cautious & more conscious about possible dangers & circumstances. Edit
always need to remember that you shouldn't care about somebody's else morality, only yours; it has
been explained largely in book:
http://path-of-power.com/pl-wiedza-tajemna-moc-spirytualizmu-full-e-book-godlikeism-book-pl-version,
211 however, in polish languages (not useful) about what is 'the deal' & when the contribution
of u (power) is prevalent
<AndyPSV> @jojo: updated,
http://path-of-power.com/godlikeism-morality-god-rules-law-in-this-universe-dimension,410 (please
see the changes, I've mentioned some of the things which you've put in the comments)
<AndyPSV> morality is in direct relation to your primary values & beliefs: if you acting against them,
you're acting from definition: immoral & without unity; although, there are a paradigm of
rules/laws set on them, which are likely to be followed
<AndyPSV> @jojo: besides I must note, that people perceive morality as: YOU CAN'T THAT, YOU CAN'T THAT, YOU
CAN'T THAT and the list goes on and on; it's actually a wrong perception of it: morality isn't
forbidding of things that you can't: its rather a misconception. It is actually set of Laws which
allows you to understand that some actions ARE WRONG FOR YOU, in reality & they would for sure
bring (even if the moral laws wouldn't exists): pain, suffering (e.g. you beat somebody with bare
fist: expect from him revenge), its just as simple as that; taking drugs like e.g. amphetamines are
on the other side: destructive for you body & mind (lets skip the spirit part as it would exists
now); you just see that the list goes on and on; MORALITY is in exception: living your life to a
FULLNESS of living, not limited by anything: a life without a sin, where the highest & ultimate
price is NIRVANA (state of INSANELY, NO-WORDS on it: ___ UNBELIEVABLE STATE OF HAPPINESS ___
I've had it once for 5 minutes in my life & nothing could compare to it
(http://path-of-power.com/godlikeism-concept-of-power-micro;-power-field,12) It's the ultimate
price, undisputed best thing which you can have in life (love & everything other: blinds,
vanishes with comparison to it); to be honest - there's no comparison of anything. It's the ultimate
price of leading moral life; on other hand: when you would slip from "morality levels", to low u
(micro, power): things around you would start to be nasty: you car would broke, you would get 20 pln
broken half note, people would leave you & the list goes on and on... You would feel empty,
stressed, depressed & suicidal; I can get easily to a conclusion that: it's not worth it (I was
on the both sides of the spiral, ghosts & phantoms attacked me - which appear on u < 0.1 [near
death experience]) [example: http://path-of-power.com/gym-progress-mine-in-130-days,184 ---------
look in the eyes, there are the reflection of the soul)
<AndyPSV> I would write explain it tomorrow if you've got issues, please write about them
<AndyPSV> @jojo: I didn't wrote about morality: that's in relation to your major beliefs: if you believe
that its not: its not; however in my sense its moral 100% when I've paid to, I didn't raped it, I
didn't beat her, my 4 friends which I've put money on (before, to fuck her), before: fucking her -
the same one, after 1 month of sitting in the hospital, I was after (it seems) couple of months,
however it doesn't matter: is fucking a girl, when paying her: moral: its only conditioned to your
major beliefs: for me it's moral, without thought
<jojo> Ethic ?
<AndyPSV> @jojo: why do you believe is not?
<jojo> fucking whore isn't moral dude
<AndyPSV> @jojo: more about it you've got in book, although in polish language:
http://path-of-power.com/pl-wiedza-tajemna-moc-spirytualizmu-full-e-book-godlikeism-book-pl-version,
211 ; I won't translate it on English (most have been translated) due to the fact the rest of the
knowledge isn't so much important (later [but not today] I would translate one article & add it
to the article about morality)
<AndyPSV> @jojo: also what's unknown to the Most, is that God places on every each person TESTS that need to
test their morality; I was probably a test for such people & was used in some sense of way to
test their morality by God; from their choices would be dependent their future (that would affect
their life); this Universe isn't just bricks & stones like most of people perceive, but its
rather a highly sophisticated world where laws are invisible for the eye, and one's needs to get to
it on his own by constant learning, thinking & repetition of the thought processes
<AndyPSV> @jojo: it has nothing to do with morality, I've just paid for the service; besides those are my past
situations which show precisely that you should watch on people & don't create them chances,
because they would be used against you; would you suspect that doctor may actually unconsciously
kill you (is doing everything to do so) or that the ambulance worker would steal your money from
your home or that prostitute would take your money out of the pocket (although the last isn't such a
non-suspected scenario); best stories are those who had happened for real
<jojo> I remember "morality is everything" from your blog - whores in borthel : yea, 100 % of morality ...
<AndyPSV> people are only people and when you would give them chance they would sure take advantage of it;
prepare for all the conditions & prevent everything (as you can) before by putting constant
thinking effort & securing all the options – Andrzej Jeziorski 3 months ago · Reply